Thank you. Will do. Do you speak French or German or do you only wish communication in English?

I am sorry, I only speak English. and sometimes not that very well (ha-ha) !!

No problem! It is only that there are so many interesting jokes in those languages. I can translate some of them into English. Give me however a few days. We are in the midst of sorting out things with our extended family and the weekend is shot with that. A joke for the parting, (not intended to imply that I might become in the future less than promised): A single man thinks to join the "Lonely Hearts Club" and sends in his application. After a few weeks his application is returned with the message; "Thank you, BUT we are not that lonely!"

That was funny !! It is even funnier that I actually have been on online dating sites lately. They are not what they are cracked up to be. I have more fun on solitairecraving. I await axiously for your email.

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I am sorry but you scared the daylights out of me." The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he did not realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, "No, no, I am sorry, it is entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

Shall write you later. BTW. If you are trying a dating service, don't connect with a Swedish girl. She will not go out with you as she is Stockholm

Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says, "What is the first thing you see when you look at me?" The guy says, "That is not too hard, you have no ears." The interviewer says, "That is it, get out, you will never be seen around here again." The second man takes his turn and is asked the same question. The applicant replies, "Uh, you have no ears." The interviewer throws the guy out, cursing and yelling that he will never get a job with his company. As he is leaving, the second guy warns the third guy, "Listen man, whatever you do, do not say he has no ears. He is so touchy with the ear thing." "Okay," said man #3 on his way into the office. Once inside he is told, "Name the first thing you notice when you look at me." The guy answers, "That is easy, you wear contacts." The interviewer was flabbergasted, "How on earth did you know that, son?" "What? Are you stupid? You cannot wear glasses, you have no ears!"

A recruiter tries to instruct a student interviewer how to chose the best candidte for the job of secretary. The first girl comes in and the recruiter asks her: "How much is 2+2?" The girl answers: "4" .The second girl answer the same question: "22". The third girl says : It could be 4 or it could be 22". After she leaves also, the recruiter now says: "You see, the first was practical. the second has imagination and the third is flexible. "I see", says the student, " but which one will you hire?". The recruiter answers; " I will hire the blonde with the blue eyes!"

I just joined and found this forum. It is funny. Thank you for the jokes

Welcome to solitairecraving and the Joke Forum @weewee. I like telling jokes and if you like reading them, then you have come to the right place. Enjoy....

@zaphod, how are you doing on the game today? I cannot get any response from others to lower my moves.

It is a hot summer day and Jake and Harry are in a ditch digging away. Meanwhile, Ralph is up under the shade of a tree sipping on a cool drink. Jake asks Harry, "Why are we down here digging in the hot Sun while Ralph is being cool up there?" Harry says, "I do not know, I will go ask him". Harry goes up and asks Ralph, "Why are you up here in the shade drinking a cool drink and Jake and I are in the ditch digging in the hot sun?" Ralph says, " It is because I have got smarts". "What is that, asks Harry? Ralph puts his hand in front of the tree and says, "Hit my hand as hard as you can". Harry swings his fist at the hand of Ralph, Ralph moves his hand and Harry hits the tree, hurting his hand. Ralph, says "I knew to pull my hand away, that is called having smarts". Harry goes back in the ditch and Jake asks, "What did he say?" Ralph says, "It is because he has smarts." "What is that, asks Jake? Harry puts his hand in front of his face and says. "Hit my hand!"

146. I am not sure what to do either

I am not sure about smarts either, but I know that a person who eats an un plucked duck, feels down in the mouth.

Forgive me for not making off the cuff remarks about the score today, I am wearing a short sleeve shirt.

Oh @zaphod, you are on a roll today.

Thank you. But being on a roll does not advance my today'score!

Indeed I know that, @fizzbut gives short(one word answers) that do not help. @Layla just says 129 misslanny or 130 one flip. Those are hardly adequate answers to help us solve, Bah !!!

This guy goes up to a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looks like a nice place, and he takes a seat at the bar. "This is a nice place. I have never been here before," he says to the guy next to him. "Oh, really?" the other replies. "It is a nice place. It is also a very special bar." "Why is that?" the first guy asks. "Well, do you see that painting on the far wall? That is an original Van Gogh, and this stool I am sitting on was on the Titanic." "Gee, that is amazing!" says the first guy. "Not only that, but you see that window over there, fourth from the right? Well, the wind does strange things outside that window. If you jump out you will fall about 50 feet before the wind catches you and you are pushed back up." "No way! That is impossible," the guy scoffs. "Not at all. Take a look," the other man replies, and with that he walks over to the window and opens it. He climbs over the sill and falls out. He drops 10... 20... 30... 40...50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh -- he comes right back up and sails back through the window. "See? It is fun. You should try it," he says. "Try it? I do not even believe I saw it!" the first man shouts. "It is easy. Watch, I will do it again." And with that, he falls out the window again. He drops 10... 20... 30... 40... 50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh -- he comes right back up and sails back through the window. "Give it a try. It is a blast," he says. "Well, what the heck, I will give it a try," the first man says, and proceeds to fall out the window. He falls 10... 20... 30... 40... 50...60...70...80...90... 100 feet and splat -- he ends up as road pizza on the sidewalk. After watching this, the second guy casually closes the window, heads back to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender arrives with the drink and says, "You know, Superman, you are a real jerk when you are drunk."

That is the problem. The guy forgot the word: NO!. Yet there are seven stages in our lives. First our mother says no. Then the teachers say no. Then our girlfriends decidedly say NO. After that our wives say no. Our banker when we need them says no. Later the doctors say no. And finally Sr. Peter says no! If the no is so ubiquitous, he ought to have said before acting. Is it not funny that he did not?