A guy driving east on the Trans Canada Highway feels the urge so he pulls into an off road comfort station. The first stall in the restroom is occupied so he goes into the second. He barely squats down when he hears from the next stall: "Hi how are you doing?". He does not want to be impolite so he answers: " Thank you, I guess not too badly!" The response comes back: "So, what are you doing?". Not knowing the etiquette how much one ought to disclose in a restroom, he answers evasively: " I guess the same as you, driving east!" To which the answers comes from the next stall: " Look I call you soon back. Some stupid guy in the next stall keeps answering all my questions!"
@veronicarose. Now Ann, is this a wise man or a wise guy? "At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Dont you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatic, steadfastly replied, "No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back to me in anger, I can use it again."
This could also be a wise guy joke: "A 7th grade biology teacher was teaching his class about the flow of blood in the body. After the lecture he asked the class:
@zaphod, such a wise guy...
Over a remote Scottish island a helicopter lost power and was forced to make an emergency landing. Luckily there was a small cottage nearby. The pilot walked over to it and knocked on the door. Is there a mechanic in the area? he asked the woman who answered the door. She scratched her head and thought for a few seconds. No, she finally said, pointing down the road, but we do have a McArdle and a McKay.
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Range Rover when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes when the mechanic shouted across the garage: "Hey doc, can I ask you a question?" The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Range Rover. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked: "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?" The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic: "Try doing it with the engine running."
A mechanic is charging for air in the new tires and blames it on inflation.
A mechanic called one of his customers after a check bounced.
A man applies for a job as mechanic. The boss says, "Can you roll your hard hat down your arm and pop it back on your head?" The mechanic nods, confused. "Can you play lightsaber with your wrench and another mans screwdriver?" "Oh yes," says the mechanic. "Can you bounce your screwdriver off the cement, grab it, whirl it around and put it in your belt like a gun?" "Sir, I have been doing that for years!" says the wanna-be mechanic. "Well in that case, I cannot use you. I have 12 men doing that already!" says the boss.
Why do rhinos have horns? To tell other animals to get out of the way. 
What did the rhino say to Napoleon Bonaparte? Nothing. Rhinos do not speak French.
What did the grape say when the rhino stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
How do you make a rhinoceros float? With two scoops of ice-cream, a bottle of cream soda, and a rhinoceros.
Why are rhinos large, gray and wrinkled? If they were small, round and white they would be aspirins.
What do you do to a rhino with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the elephant!
What do you do with a white rhino? Hold its nose until it turns blue.
What is the difference between an African rhino and an Indian rhino?About 3000 miles.
How do rhinos get down from trees? They sit on a leaf and wait for Fall.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? Elephino!
Why are tigers religious? Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family.
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