Prosecutor: "Doctor did you check the pulse?" "No, I did not!" "Did you check the heart beat?" "No, I did not!" "Did you check his reflexes?" "No, I did not!" "DID YOU CHECK IF HE IS BREATHING? " No I did not do that either!" " Doctor, how did you then know that he is dead?" " Well," says the doctor, "He was lying on the table, his skull was open and his brain was in jar next to him!"

BRUNETTE: A Norse of a different colour CANTALOUPE; Somebody stole the ladder! BIGOTRY: A huge Italian tree CATATONIC: Italian cat medicine BIGAMIST: AN extensive Italian fog. BI-PLANE: Pilot saying good bye as he bails out!

I heard the first one, the second one is hilarious!! Well, even with the clue from William, I cannot get my moves lower. That is par for the course for me

Do you by chance have Skype?

Got down to 126(do not remember how), now for the last move.

I am at 128 and also don't know how I got there

126 and counting!

Where is the last move?

I do not know, the count is 123 with the QS down and the KS showing, one move to flip the queen and another move to the ace pile and up goes the king and you are at 126. Have to find a way to be at 122 when you get to the last two cards.

A naturalist found evidence of a hitherto unknown breed of giant elephant living in the rainforests of South America. Eventually he raised sufficient funds to launched an expedition to bring back this direct descendant of the mammoth. After weeks battling their way through the jungle, the party stumbled upon a three-foot tall pygmy and exclaimed: "Wow! Did you kill this elephant?" "Yes," replied the pygmy. "But it is so big and you are so small!" "Yes," said the pygmy. "How on earth did you kill it?" asked the naturalist. "With my club," said the pygmy. "How big is your club?" inquired the naturalist. "Well, there are about a hundred of us."

Three mischievous boys went to the zoo one day on a school outing. They decided to visit the elephant enclosure but within an hour, they were picked up by a police officer for causing a commotion. The officer hauled them off to security for questioning and the teacher in charge told them to give the police their names and say what they were doing at the elephant house. The first boy said: "My name is Gary, and I was just throwing peanuts into the elephant enclosure." The second said: "My name is Kevin, and all I was doing was throwing peanuts into the elephant enclosure." The third boy was a bit shaken up by the ordeal and said: "My name is Peter but my friends call me Peanuts."

A woman tried to board a bus but her skirt was so tight that she could not make the step up. So she reached behind her, lowered her zip and tried again. Still the skirt was too tight. So again she reached behind her, lowered her zip a little more and tried to negotiate the step. But still the skirt was too tight. Determined to catch this bus, she once more reached behind her, lowered the zip a little and attempted to climb aboard. Then suddenly she felt two hands on her butt, helping her on to the bus. She turned around angrily and told the man behind her: "Sir, I do not know you well enough for you to behave in such a manner." The man replied: "Lady, I do not know you well enough for you to unzip my fly three times either!"

Knock knock. Who's there? Hutch. Hutch who? Bless you.

@zaphod, would you believe @Layla went to 124?

@tictactoe Welcome! May you continue in good health. GESUNDHEIT!

To @tictactoe: Charm and Wit and Levity, Oft help one at the start. But finally its Brevity, that wins the publics heart! (Apostrophes omitted for clarity, please add them yourself!

tictactoe, glad you browsed here, come on back anytime.

@zaphod, that was totally awesome, the very first time being on Skype. It is amazing what electronics can do these days. I would have never dreamed of seeing and talking from a computer.

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods. The Game Warden was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him. "Let us see yer fishing license, Boy!" the Warden gasped. With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You do not have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes, sir," replied the young guy. "But my friend back there, well, he does not have one."