Thanks. I am happy even if only you derive pleasue from our postings. Happy Thanksgiving

Back at ya buddy...

Why do turkeys gobble? Because they never learned table manners!

What kind of key has legs and cannot open doors? A Turkey!

What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went. "Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter. "Did it not taste good?" her mother asked. "I do not know," the blonde said. "It would not sit still!"

17,000 views @zaphod ! Outstanding !

Yes James In see it and I alerted youn previouskly that Forum has many visitors. 17000 visitors but practically zero comments nor postings apart of the two of us and a very few others. I do not want to become a self adulation socuiety. I have over 7000 jokes collected throughout the years and if I to read only my and your jokes (some of which are good but many known to me ) I dont need the forum. BTW. An attempt at a Thanksgiving joke: A Native and a turkey are on a hill looking down at the bay and the approachig Mayflower. Says the turkey to the Native: " I dont know about you but I believe this will not be good for me!"

Oh well, do not give up, at least I humor myself reading your jokes...

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counselling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured. Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you see to it?Well, he said,;I can drop her off here on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays but on Friday I go fishing!"

We had an awesome Thanksgiving, enough food to feed a small army...

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver;s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it is open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

Doctor: "Take the green pill with a glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with 2 glasses of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another glass of water." Man: "Exactly what's my problem, doc?" Doctor: "You're not drinking enough water."

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off. Written in large black letters was the sentence. "Get well quick..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say", the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say", the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

James, I did not quit AS YET. Thank you for asking me to stay and hope you will continue to enjoy the jokes. How was your Thanksgiving? I am a Canadian now so I was spared to burst my stomach!.

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off of a nearby fence, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck. A reporter strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he writes in his notebook. "But I am not a Giants fan," the little hero replies. "Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," says the reporter. "Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he writes in his notebook. "I am not a Jets fan either," the boy says. "I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets. What team do you root for?" the reporter asks. "I am a Cowboys fan," the child says. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet".

Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog did not work. No matter how hard they tried, it just did not follow their commands. They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion,