Little Johnnies neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnies family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby is missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely. When Johnnie looked in the crib he said;What a beautiful baby.; The mother said, Why,Thank you, Johnnie; Johnnie said, ;He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see all right? Yes, the mother replied, we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 Vision.; 'That is great;, said Little Johnnie, coz he would be in trouble if he needed glasses.

Hilarious Donna !!!

Thanks James

A teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked,

The little boy was not getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said

Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day? Pupil: I get up early!

Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line? Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there!

Teacher:

Teacher: Why cant you ever answer any of my questions? Pupil: Well if I could there would not be much point in me being here!

Teacher: Why are you late? Webster: Because of the sign. Teacher: What sign? Webster: The one that says,

Teacher: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor? Cindy: You told me to do it without using tables!

Why were the teachers eyes crossed? She couldn

Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have? Student: Big hands!

Teacher: I hope I did not see you looking at Johns exam? Student: I hope you did not either.

Teacher: What is the shortest month? Student: May, it only has three letters.

Donna, today so far, I have played getting 133, 134, and 135. Cannot find 132 or 130(obliviously) !

Following a great sermon on lifestyle evangelism one family thought they had better do something to witness to Jesus. So they invited their neighbours to dinner the following Friday night. When it came to the meal, the hostess was keen to show their neighbours that they upheld Christian standards in their home. So she asked little 5 year old Johnny to say grace. Little Johnny was a bit shy. "I dont know what to say" There was an awkward pause, followed by a reassuring smile from the boys mother. "Well darling," she said, " just say what Daddy said at breakfast this morning." Obediently, the boy repeated, "Oh God, we have those awful people coming to dinner tonight"

@harleyman. Why being concerned that you cant find 130? Be happy thet you can find so many wonderful jokes! I laughed myself silly with them. They are so good that I forgot that I am still at 136 or so! Look also at Donna. Her jokes are also very good.

A big, burly man visited the pastors home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses. "Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400." "How terrible!" exclaimed the preachers wife. "May I ask who you are?" The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I am the landlord," he sobbed.